Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban
by raion
Summary: Did you ever wonder what his imprisonment was like for Sirius? How Azkaban affected him? What that fateful visit from Minister Fudge was like and what happened when Sirius got a chance to have a look at the Daily Prophet? Then read this and find out
1. Thoughts of a prisoner

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

Hi everyone ^^

My friend **MysticSorceror** saw my German story and asked me to translate it for her… well actually she threatened to use an online translator if I was unwilling to translate it for her XD anyway that is why I decided to translate it ^^;;

So **Myst-chan **this is for you even though you are already up to chapter three as I writ this, you are the best *hugs*

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**Narrative form:** Sirius thoughts

Okay so all I have left to say is enjoy and please leave me a review *puppy dog eyes*

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1.**Thoughts of a prisoner**

I sit somewhat relaxed on my plank bed and listen the sounds of the sea.

That in itself wouldn't be such a bad thing, if the plank bed I'm sitting on wouldn't be in a cell in the fortress that's Azkaban.

Yes I am in Azkaban…

… the notorious wizarding prison situated in the middle of the sea secluded from any civilisation.

Azkaban is the most secure prison in existence.

Up to now not a single soul managed to escape its grasp!

This can be completely attributed to its guards, the Dementors.

The Dementors are some of the foulest creatures to walk the earth.

They breed in the darkest and filthiest places and create decay and despair.

They suck peace, hope and happiness out of any human that comes near them.

If they can get away with it they feed off of them until their victims become like them … soulless and evil creatures. Or simply insane!

Their presence nearly make the walls and the masses of water surrounding the fortress useless for preventing the prisoners from escaping, because we all are imprisoned in our minds.

Most of the prisoners are no longer able to think straight if they didn't crack already.

The sun sets … soon I'll be another day closer to eternity.

Yes eternity and my dark visions of the past which plague me in my dreams.

It is dark.

Even the last dusky sunbeams vanished. The only light I had…

… the last rays of hope.

…the last bit of warmth in my dark, icy world.

How long have I been sitting here?

Days? Months? No it's way worse; I've been here for _years_.

Twelve years, seven months and thirty-two days to be exact.

I never stopped counting the days it gives me an unexplainable clarity of mind to know which day it is.

Today is the twenty-fourth of May.

In sixty-eight days my godson will celebrate his thirteen birthday.

Ah yes Harry…

He is attending Hogwarts now; he probably joined the Quidditch team.

He certainly plays just as well as his father once did.

…James…

Thinking of him hurts me deeply; he was my best friend, my confident, my brother…

… and it is my fault he is dead!

I have James and Lily Potter on my conscience, everything is my fault!

Because of me little Harry lost his parents and has to live with his Muggle relatives, I deserve to be here!

Here in this small dark cell with this tiny barred window, which gives me the little light I have during the day.

It is so terribly cold here no matter which time of the day or season. Here in the cells of Azkaban it is always cold!

Our mercy and conscienceless watchers take care of that. Only those sentenced to death get to see their faces.

Dementors … through their mere presence, with their rattling breath they suck off all the positive energy and thoughts and leave nothing behind but the worst of memories.

Most of the prisoners experience partial amnesia after only a couple of days, they no longer know who they are and once that is achieved the Dementors nearly did it.

They made them lose their minds.

Some are more resistant the process takes longer with them but sooner or later they all lose it, there is no escaping it.

Not that I ever talked to one of them to find out if they are crazy or not. The guards would never allow that, I am a prisoner in the maximum-security wing after all.

Even if they had allowed it I wouldn't want to talk with any of that scum!

They are Death Eaters, they are the enemy … at least they were once.

In their actual state they couldn't hurt a fly. They are done in; I can see it in their eyes.

From one day to the next the last bit of humanity and life vanishes from their eyes and with it goes their mind.

Back then when I could still have an eye on them all the time I saw it daily. That was before I was moved into this cell.

Oh I am still in the maximum-security wing but suddenly I have a cell with a… even though it is really tiny but I have a window!

That my not appear to be much but the little light falling through that window gives me warmth.

I have no idea who I have to thank for this but I'm indebted to them!

Should I ever get out of here I will find out who did this for me and then I will show them my gratitude in my very own way! My lips curl into a sneer at this thought.

Whoever it was has to be very powerful … or have the right connections.

Most likely they would have needed both.

That means it can't be one of my old friends, they don't have enough power… and even if they had it…

… they wouldn't help me…

…because they too think that it was I who spied on the Potters.

They think that I killed Peter and all those Muggles.

And most of all they think that I was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's right hand man.

So if it wasn't one of my old friends it has to have been one of my old enemies.

They can't really think that _**I**_ handed over James, my brother, to their master, can they?

…

And what if they do?

Who of those has been rehabilitates that well?

Maybe I should say who of them was clever enough to convincingly play-pretend that they were innocent and were under the Dark Lords spell to make the ministry believe them, so that they still have that sort of power?

…

Thinking about it, the escaped Death Eaters should actually prefer to see me dead rather than help me or make my imprisonment more enjoyable.

Their master after all vanished that night he showed up at James and Lily's and hasn't been seen ever since. They say he died…

Doesn't that mean that it could have been a trap for the Dark Lord? That it was in the spy's intention to get rid of him together with the Potters?

Well and interestingly the whole world seems to think that I was Voldemort's filthy spy.

That's why the Death Eaters should actually hate me as well.

Don't they know what I did?

I've been here for a very long time but I know exactly who, where and why I am here!

I am Sirius Black.

I am sitting in a maximum-security cell in Azkaban surrounded by Death Eaters and Dementors and I am here because I betrayed my best friend, James Potter!

But what is even more painful for me than to know who, where and why I am here, is to know that I am innocent!

I may have betrayed James but not to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!

That naturally doesn't make it any less terrible and it doesn't make me feel less guilty but I didn't do what the whole world seems to be accusing me of!

Still James and Lily are dead and it's my fault.

I should have been more careful!

I should have known better who I, no we, could trust and who not!

I shouldn't have lost grasp of what was going on even though it were dark and confusing times.

I shouldn't have allowed myself to be pulled into the flimsy intrigue of my "friend"!

I failed!

I didn't think the facts through enough!

I was so sure of myself that I became careless.

I thought I had the perfect plan to protect James and his family.

I thought that way he would never find them…

…but with my oh so perfect plan I played them right into his arms without even realizing…

… I was so foolish; I misjudged him even though it was so very obvious…

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There you go chapter one is done, so what do you guys think?

More from me soon,

~Raion


	2. Nightmare of a prisoner

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**Narrative form:** Sirius thoughts

Thank you for your reviews **ell25** and **mercurywrites**, you guys made me really happy *hugs*

**2. ****Nightmare of a prisoner**

It's gotten late and as much as I fight it I can no longer prevent it…

…I can no longer delay… falling asleep.

At the mere thought of what is awaiting me in my dreams I'm overcome by uncontrollable tremors that can only be surpassed by my guilty conscience.

It is useless to fight any longer…

…the Dementors wore me out, I can fight no more…

…not today…

** Sirius dream **

_It's a cold October night._

_The stars are hidden by thick clouds but the full moon is clearly visible._

_T__he icy wind blows in my face and the wafts of mist makes it hard for me to see… but I know exactly where I am…_

…_the small house in front of me surrounded by a seemingly endless wood…_

…_I've spent so much time here that even with my eyes closed I could say with a hundred percent certainty where I am!_

_I'm at the Potter estate in Godric's Hollow._

_Silently I creep up to a window and sneak a peek into the cosy peaceful home of the young happy family._

_I know exactly what's going to happen… after all, I have this dream every night…_

…_It is the night of October thirty-first…_

…_Halloween…_

… _the night of the dead…_

_Soon a man dressed in black, face hidden by a deep drawn hood is going to appear and history takes its toll again._

_Like in every one of these dreams I can once again only watch my best friend trying to hold up the invader…_

…_I close my eyes and press my eyelids firmly together, I don't want to see it yet again, I can't see it anymore… James dies. _

_And suddenly I hear those voices again; they have been haunting me for years …_

"_Not Harry, no please not Harry!"_

"_Stand aside, you silly girl … stand aside or… "_

"_Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead – Not Harry! Please spare my baby … have mercy … please have mercy …"_

…_then all I hear are Lily's last scream and the piercing, insane laughter of that monster _

** End of dream **

I wake with a start, my pulse racing.

My breathing goes as fast as if I had just been running for my life.

I'm shivering all over while pushing myself up from the sheet of my hard plank bed.

I am all sweaty and my long filthy hair is practically glued to my face.

The mangy rags that are my clothes stick to my body and I just wish that I could take a cold shower right now.

I just want to wash away my fear and guilt together with the sweat and dirt… though I could use it to calm down physically and mentally as well.

But naturally I realize that the next chance I get to shower and therefore lay my burdens to rest for a little while is still far in the future.

I curl up in the darkest and farthest corner from my cell door…

My breathing is still way too fast and again and again my thoughts are interrupted by those two torturous questions…

_How could this happen and why didn't I prevent that__???_

Hot tears of desperation seek their way down my gaunt cheeks.

My body is struck by a burning wave of anger and guilt.

Once I recover my breath somewhat distraughtly shout, "Yes I admit it, it is my fault that James is dead!"

I in every fibre of my body I feel just how much voicing this thought is preying on me as it is actually my innocence that helps me to keep my mind…

…my mind knows that I am not to blame for James and Lily's deaths but I still feel so incredibly guilty!

If I had been their Secret-Keeper they would still be alive and I wouldn't waste away in Azkaban!

It is so cruel.

Every night, in each and every one of my dreams I see them…

…even though I wasn't there when it happened…

…I see it anew… James and Lily's fight…

…I hear Lily scream and beg for Harry's life…

…it is cruel; it makes my blood run cold…

…suddenly there is a flash of bilious green light, Lily's voice dies out and I once again wake up from my nightly torture…

The grille of my cell opens with a lout squeaking noise.

It is pitch-dark… it has to be new moon…

…there is neither electrical nor magical light over here as the Dementors don't need it and no one cares about the prisoners needs…

…most of them, in their mental aberration can no longer make out the difference between light and dark anyway… or actually prefer the darkness to the light.

Whatever… in any case that's why I can't see who graces me with their presence.

But actually the question who's entering my cell is just as useless as the light. Since there is only two kinds of "visitors" for me and I would prefer to forgo both of them…

…whereas Minister Fudge at least is obtainable for conversation, even though he only wants to find out if I have a few screws loose… it amuses me every time anew to see how shocked he is at my mental clarity!

But considering the fact that it is probably about three in the morning it can only be the Dementors…

… Minister Fudge for sure slumbers in his warm soft bed at such an ungodly hour…

Also his last inspection was only two months ago, which means that he will only be back at the beginning of July. As reluctant as he is to come here…

… not that I can blame him… if I had a choice I would rather be elsewhere as well… he won't show up even a day before he has to!

A further ear-shattering squeak rings out.

I assume they closed the door again… I just hope they did that from outside my cell!

…

…I may not be able to see them but I feel them nearby…

Must I always have such damn rough luck?

At least once they could have failed to hear me!

…If only I had my wand…

…even if I couldn't get out of here with it, it would be enough for me if someone would take my voice away!

…then I wouldn't constantly have problems with those damned Dementors!

Not that they don't already have it in for me during the day!

One of them after all is positioned in front of my cell day in day out.

They could at least give me some rest at night!

But not even this simple harmless wish do they grant me.

Is our dear Minister worried that if they are no longer able to hear me speak I could come up with an ingenious plan to break out of this hell hole?

Not that I needed to speak for that… if I had such a plan or if I'd make one I wouldn't be so dumb and speak about it!

So that the Dementors can hear them and pass them to Fudgey? Hell no!

…or maybe the Dementors fear that they would no longer be able to punish me so thoroughly?

The former is more likely as the Dementors don't really need a reason to punish their prisoners.

I am sure every now and again they spirit away some of the prisoners…

… and with that I don't mean that they set them free!!

…well that is if one doesn't view death as liberation which is not that unlikely in here either!

However even Azkaban inmates prefer to pass on the kind of death the Dementors offer…

…who wants to die with the knowledge that their soul would be forever bound to unutterable anguish through that death?

Not even the loony Death Eaters are that barmy!

The Dementors are moving closer towards me…

There are two as always…

…no that's not true… today, there are more…

…three … four…

…an icy cold seizes me… I feel my breath starting to falter….

…it's getting hard to concentrate, no correction they are way to close for that already, no matter how many Dementors there may be, there are definitely too many!

I'm pierced by a coldness that spreads all over my body…

…it grips my heart and pulls me further and further down in the darkness of oblivion… I think it's trying to drown me…

…in my ears the rush of my blood arises…

…it's so loud one could think it stems from the mass of water surrounding Azkaban…

…The noise grows louder and louder …

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That was part two, so what do you think will happen in part three? What will Sirius see? Visions of his nightmarish future or memories of his past and if so what form the past? And how is it going to affect him?

Well you will see ^^

Please review!!


	3. Memories of a prisoner part 1

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**3. ****Memories of a prisoner part 1**

My ears hurt from the booming rush of my blood and the pressure that's spread in them.

Merlin… grrr… if that doesn't stop soon… my eardrums are going to burst.

Everything's starting to spin and blur before my eyes. I close them but I still feel as though everything's spinning…

…just like back then…

…James and I were at Quidditch training when suddenly a thunder-storm befell us. The wind was so server it nearly blew me off my broom and the rain soaked us to the skin…

…my stomach didn't like that at all, I felt terribly sick…

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of lightening before my closed eyes and for one moment I thought it was broad daylight.

The thunder resonates in his power amplified by the lifeless halls of Azkaban. I cover my aching ears…

…but then I feel this piercing pain in my heart and everything goes black…

**Flashback**

"Hey Padfoot, there you are at last! Where have you been you old layabout?" James smirks deviously.

"'lo Prongs, sorry I'm late but I stopped by at Moony's. You didn't forget that tonight's full moon, did you?"

James looks at me pretending to be hurt he placed his right hand over his heart "Paddy you hurt me, how could I ever forget our night?"

"Well I don't know, Lily and Prongslet seem to keep you on your toes nicely!" I retort with a broad grin. "Anyway I asked him where we are meeting this time!" I continue before James has a chance to protest.

Even though we are members of the Order of the Phoenix and therefore have our hands full with the fight against Voldemort we wouldn't miss the chance to spend the full moon nights with Moony.

In my opinion the full moon night is the best night of the month even if Moony doesn't think about it like that.

Roaming the woods at night enjoying our youth and freedom hmmm just like in our Hogwarts days.

Hidden by the impenetrable veil of the night, even if someone was able to see us they wouldn't recognize us. After all no one knows that we are Animagi!

"And has Moony decided where he wants us to meet yet or is it going to be another last minute decision like last month?" James asks curiously an amused smile plays about his lips.

Surely he is thinking about the last full moon night right now… "No he isn't quite sure yet but he suggested that we haven't been in the forbidden forest for a long time! I however believe that he simply wants to find out if Peter is still scared shitless of the giant spiders!" I say casually while settling into the chair opposite of James.

Albeit one wouldn't think Remus capable of it, he finds it highly amusing to see Peter facial expression if an acrumantula suddenly shows up right in front of him!

But in reality with Pater it doesn't even take an animal of that size or classification. Even pixies give him the jitters!

"Oh, by the way Lily wants me to tell you that a responsible godfather such as you are Sirius, should show his face to his godson every now and again!" James makes a short pause to give his words the according reproachful meaning.

"Furthermore she wants me to ask whether you perceive her to be such a bad cook that you take me out for dinner rather than come over to us and eat there!?" James expression right now is priceless he really tries to look all serious and reproachful but obviously fights with a laughing fit.

My confused and slightly embarrassed expression for sure doesn't help him any!

"Oh.. but I… I was over at your guys place only three days ago!" I stutter dumbfounded. "I didn't know Lily would take it that bad if I didn't show up for three days for once. That nearly sounds as though she wanted me to move in with you guys" I joke grinning. "What's more… it was your idea to meet for dinner here and not mine!" I add thoughtfully.

"Yes I know that it was my idea but Lily doesn't and I thought it better if she was angry at you rather than me!" he admits smiling innocently. "But to be honest I think she simply misses your little rows and that she can entrust you with Harry. It is easier to track down where he is romping around if you chase after him," James reckons thoughtfully, "or she simply wants to play chess with someone she most certainly won't lose against!" he adds with a mischievous smile

I'm surprised James is able to underestimate me like that and probably look it… or Prongs simply knows me too well.

Anyway, now it's over with his composure and his obsessively suppressed fit of laughter wins the inner fight.

James, like I myself, never had enough willpower to contain himself in such matters.

"Okay Prongs it's good that you find this so amusing but you underestimate me immensely! I can beat Lily hands down!" I say slightly scandalized, hearing this he gives me an exceedingly disbelieving look. "And if I may remind you who of us the better strategist is!" I add triumphant.

James becomes silent before he says with a knowing smile and a matter of fact tone "Oh no Padfoot you're mixing something up there. You are not the better strategist. You are simple the strategist that puts morals and conscience aside if it brings you closer to your desired goal!"

"That's not true James. If at all it didn't advance me but US besides it's always been fun, don't you think?" I try to explain myself my impish grin makes him smirk.

"Yes that's right. Your wild actions were always fun! But when you tried to get rid of Severus Snape for us you went too far. You have to admit that! It was a brilliant idea and we would have been rid of him for sure but it was not the most sensible think to do!" James makes an inspired pause to give his words effect.

He seems to wait for an affirming gesture from me but I still think that Snape deserved that. If he hadn't spied on us it would have never gotten that far!!

James resignedly accepts that I regret nothing and continues his lecture. "When I saw Moony the next day I thought he would love nothing better than to kill you!" due to his now mean grin James probably imagines just that scene.

"Oh come on Prongs now don't act as though YOU never pulled any nasty pranks on Snape! My prank could have, in the worst case, cost him is life, what a loss for the world!" I say with faux tragedy. "But YOUR pranks ruined his reputation let alone his pride and honor!

You know Prongs if I think about it like this…

…I believe he still hates you more than me!!!

Even tough as you said before my prank nearly cost him his life." I smirk remembering the pranks we pulled on Snape together back then.

"I vividly recall that one time… back then after our OWL's. It was a wonderful summer day but the real fun only started when Snape thought he could just like that get away with …" I reminiscence the amusing memories of that day as James interrupts me.

"Ah yes, thm … lets drop that subject… there is a way more important reasons for which I asked you to meet me here!" in a matter of seconds James expression completely changed. His voice grew sober nearly stiff… this doesn't fit James at all.

I wonder what happened.

He seems very serious and the look he gives me makes it very clear that he won't tolerate dissent and doesn't want to be interrupted.

"Listen Sirius, Lily and I have been thinking for some time about what to do next. You know because we are on the Dark Lords blacklist." James pauses shortly to show me just how serious this is. "We went to Dumbledore and talked about it for hours and he said that he knew a safe place where we could live. He also thought that it would be best if we preformed the Fidelius Charm so that Voldemort won't be able to find us."

James makes one of these oppressive pauses with which he tries to figure out what I think about all of this.

So James and Lily already decided to run for it… I didn't expect that of James.

The great no-risk-is-too-big-for-me James Potter wants to run and hide???

I'm sure if it wasn't for Lily and Harry he would be at the front line of the battle!

Still it is the wisest thing they can do!

Voldemort wants Harry because of this prophecy… at least it looks like he is after Harry… and he will do everything in his might to get him!

The Fidelius Charm might not stop him but at least it will keep him busy for some time!

Thereby giving us time to come up with a suitable strategy and time to prepare for the upcoming fight to protect James, Lily and Prongslet.

Whatever James expects of me I will help him the best I can!

"That's a good advice James but what exactly do you want to tell me with this?" I say at the back of my mind I already think about where this place could be and if it really is safe enough. But even as I say this I realize what James expects of me…

…James wants me to be their Secret-Keeper!

I would never betray them!

I would rather die and take their secret to the grave and James knows that!

"Well Dumbledore said that we should perform the charm as soon as possible! He shows us how we could get to this place and explained to us that it would be best if the charm was set this very day." James grows silent for a moment. My thoughts are still circling the question where that place could be when James snatches me out of my thoughts. "Dumbledore offered to be our Secret-Keeper…" I didn't expect that! I mean yes we are in the Order of the Phoenix which is lead by Dumbledore and we are friends with him but I really didn't expect that.

"Brilliant! I didn't expect that but that is wonderful! I mean Dumbledore is a genius, a powerful wizard nobody will dare to assault him!

Also he is the one Voldemort fears most, right?" I voice my thoughts without hesitation.

I am utterly excited to know that my best friend will have such a competent Secret-Keeper!

But something isn't right there… James is looking at me so strangely…. Something is wrong with him… but what could it be?

With such a Secret-Keeper he really doesn't need to be worried!

"Listen Padfoot, now don't get you knickers in a twist okay!"

Oh no THAT doesn't sound good at all! Don't tell me he…

"Lily and I refused that offer because form the moment we started to think about this possibility we both immediately knew who we wanted to be our Secret-Keeper," he said completely calm looking at me searchingly.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!! AND WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS MAKING THESE PAUSES??? DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME CRAZY???" I scream at him.

James seems to have expected that and gives me some time to calm down.

"NOW SPILL IT JAMES, WHY DID YOU REFUSE DUMBLEDORE'S OFFER??? WHO IN YOUR OPINION COULD BE BETTER QUALIFIED TO BE YOUR SECRET-KEEPER THAN ALBUS DUMBLEDORE?" I add not the slightest bit interested in calming down. He deserves to see exactly what I think about his crackpot idea to refuse Dumbledore as his Secret-Keeper.

What was he thinking???

Is he completely crazy!!!

"Isn't it obvious who we thought of, Sirius?" he says calmly.

What is this? Is James trying to provoke me intentionally?!

I mean in the beginning I thought I knew exactly that he wanted me to be the Secret-Keeper and then he tells me that they could have gotten Dumbledore and didn't want him!?

Grr…I could strangle him for his foolishness!!

So how should I know who he has chosen?

It after all has to be someone that James perceives to be better for this "job" than Dumbledore… and THAT I am definitely not!!!

He is doing it again! He is keeping me on tenterhooks! And this inquiring look…

…it's best if I just shake my head because nothing good would come out if I said something right now.

"Come on Padfoot don't play dumb! Lily and I want YOU to be our Secret-Keeper!" James assessing look pierces me.

I can't believe this. How can he choose me over Dumbledore for this task???

"We want you for this job Sirius, because we know that we can trust you!

Because we know that even if they should manage to get you, and that should be incredibly hard with your uncanny gift to only be found if YOU want to be found, you would never tell them where we are no matter what they would do to you.

Because you would rather die and take the secret to your grave than betray me! Or am I wrong, Padfoot?"

I am speechless…he can't be serious…

James victorious smile tells me that he really is serious and that he already knows that I have to agree with every one of his points.

He seems to read me like a book… that's kind of creepy…

"Naturally you are right! I would never betray you and neither would I betray Lily and Harry! You know me!" I say determinedly but still slightly confused.

Even if he is right with all of this… Dumbledore still is a safer Secret-Keeper than me.

It is way harder to close in on him than on a cautiously hiding Animagus. Okay no one but James, Remus and Peter know that I am an Animagus but still…

…and who would think that Dumbledore is their Secret-Keeper?

"Exactly and that's why Lily and I chose you! Don't argue we made our decision!! Lily is already packing out things. We'll meet at up seven at my place and then hit the road together from there. Got that?" there it is again this gleam in James eyes…

…I hate it when James does that to me, he knows exactly that I can't object if he looks at me like that…

"Yes, all right I'll be there. You can rely on me James!" I say resigned.

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Do you want to know how Sirius convinces James to use Peter as their Secret-Keeper instead? Then stay tuned for chapter 4 of Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban ^^


	4. Memories of a prisoner part 2

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**Ell25: **Thank you for your review and it is perfectly alright for you to be involved, I am glad you like my story ^^

**4. ****Memories of a prisoner part 2**

**~Flashback ~**

"Exactly and that's why Lily and I chose you! Don't argue we made our decision!! Lily is already packing out things. We'll meet at up seven at my place and then hit the road together from there. Got that?" there it is again this gleam in James eyes…

…I hate it when James does that to me, he knows exactly that I can't object if he looks at me like that…

"Yes all clear I'll be there. You can rely on me James!" I say resigned.

**~Relocation ~**

It is seven o'clock and Peter and I stand in front of James front door.

I explained everything to Peter and persuaded him to be the Secret-Keeper.

Time flies they say and that is definitely true this day passed way too fast!

The whole time I was thinking about it… was it really such a good idea of James to make me their Secret-Keeper?

I would never betray him but it would be too obvious!

Everybody knows that I'm James best friend, his best man and Harry's godfather.

It would just be too obvious!

I reflected about it… who other than me would make a good Secret-Keeper?

And most of all who could we trust enough?

Namely Remus and Peter.

But Remus has been acting strange lately, he has been underway too often mostly at night and he never tells us what he was up to. That's not like him at all, why does he make such a secret out of what he does?

If it had something to do with the Order he could tell us we are part of it as well after all!

It seems he is withdrawing further and further…

… no I don't think Remus is the right one.

Now Peter… he acts as he always does though lately he seems to be even more nervous than usual but that's certainly because the situation is so tense.

Peter would never dare to betray us. He is too sacred of how we would get back at him!

He is an Animagus as well and certainly could hide like this for a long time… Peter could do it.

He is too much of a coward to rat us out!

That's why I set out for Peter's to tell him about my thoughts.

At first he naturally seemed intimidated and by no means wanted to take over… but I've always known how to get Peter to do exactly what I wanted.

A nasty smirk graces my lips at that thought. He is so easy to manipulate!!!

James opens the front door and looks at me dumbfounded.

"Hi Sirius, …Peter? …. Um Sirius could I speak with you for a moment?" James looks utterly baffled.

I simply nod and James beckons Peter to wait in the house with Lily. We are alone but James waves some spells for safety's sake anyway.

"What's the meaning of this Padfoot?? What's Peter doing here?" James does look quite angry now after all.

"Listen James, I've been thinking if I am the right one to do this the whole day and I concluded that I am not! WAIT before you get all worked up hear me out, okay?" I try to mollify James somewhat. Finally he nods and motions for me to go on.

"Okay right, listen, everyone knows how close we are or do you want to deny that?

No? Good!

Therefore it would be way to obvious that it's me, don't you think? I mean if it gets out that you are protected by the Fidelius Charm everyone will immediately think I am the Secret-Keeper!

So I thought about who would be less obvious but still trustworthy?" James calmed down while I spoke and listened attentively but now he looks slightly disbelieving at me.

"And you think of Peter first? What about Remus?" James seems to be confused and I can't blame him.

"Remus has been acting strange lately. We talked about it many times, don't you remember?" James nods his agreement he seems to mentally run-through our talks about Remus once again before he once again nods his approval.

"Alright I understand that. Remus truly does exclude us too much lately and it seems as though he wants to hide something but Peter? You can't be serious! How did you imagine this to work, Padfoot?" he doesn't seem so sceptical anymore.

"When it comes out that you are protected by the Fidelius Charm everyone will look for me and Peter has nothing to fear. Because as you said before, they will only find me if I want them to and only you and I know about the swap, and Peter of course.

Peter is an Animagus as well and can easily and unrecognized hide for a long this way.

Voldemort will never guess that it is Peter!

He is far too weak and untalented… you know how outsiders perceive him. And that is exactly why Voldemort would first think about me and then Remus, do you know what I mean James?"

For a little while there is a gloomy silence between us. I know that James deliberates everything.

He constantly paces up and down the road.

But finally he stops and looks at me determinedly "Alright, if you think it is safer this way we will do it. But I still want you to know where we are!" James looks deep into my eyes. There is such a steely determination that I know at once that James fully trusts me and most likely only therefore accepts the swap.

"Listen Sirius, I know that you realize that you have to keep it secret but I have to say it anyway. You MUST NOT tell anyone where we are!!!!

Other than you only Dumbledore and Peter will know… we will live in Godric's Hollow.

You know where that is right? I want you to keep me current on what is going on with Voldemort and the Order, you hear?"

"Sure I'll do that. I will somehow manage to smuggle myself to you guys."

Godric's Hollow … wow but that is really good!

Only a few chosen people around Dumbledore know it's correct location. And with the Fidelius Charm… this is the perfect place!

"I will tell Peter to give you a note with the directions. You better burn it after you read it!"

Lily approaches us with Harry on her arm, Peter hot on her heels with the family's luggage.

"Hey Sirius, good that you finally made it we were waiting for you, didn't we Harry?" she says with her dulcet voice which betrays her nervousness to me anyway.

The little one is looking at me with his emerald green eyes; an innocent smile graces his lips. I take Harry from Lily and at once tousle his hair.

"Hey there little one, did you miss uncle Padfoot?" Harry looks at me through big eyes and gurgles happily as I tickle him.

James disappeared with Lily. He probably tries to explain the change of plan to her.

Harry is really cute he looks so much like James… it is unbelievable. But his eyes are Lily's… I have to admit that they make him even more irresistible than James already is.

The Hogwarts girls will swoon over him no doubt. Ah James and Lily returned. Lily takes Harry from me wordlessly… she doesn't seem to be too happy.

I lay an arm around her shoulder and pull her and Harry against me once again to say goodbye. But Lily instantly turns away from me… man but she seems to be very angry!

I give James a brotherly hug and clap him reassuringly on his back. "Lily is really angry with my, isn't she?" I whisper to James.

He only nods lightly and lastly whispers, "yes she thinks you want to shrink out of the responsibility!" James stance towards me tells me that he knows that that is not the case.

Lily turns back to us and without a word she makes clear that she thinks that it's time for them to leave.

"All right then we will be on our way, see you at Remus'?" James reckons haltingly.

"No Prongs, I think you should stay will Lily and Harry. Peter if you want to meet up with us we will be in the Forbidden Forest. Good Luck!", I say slightly wistful all too willingly I would like to accompany them but that is impossible.

I should already be with Moony.

I wave at them once again but they already disappeared, they vanished into thin air.

**~End Flashback ~**

A burning pain runs through my body. It rips me out of my trance.

My whole body hurts and this coldness… it will kill me eventually.

The Dementors did a throughout job on me this time.

I feel unsteady and the burning sensation in my throat tells me that I must have thrown up.

I can't remember it…

What happened?

I try to sit up but a shooting pain in my temples makes me cringe and descend to the floor once again.

I open my eyes slightly to find out where I am but I can't see anything.

Can it be that it is still night?

That is rather unlikely; it should already be broad daylight…

…or it is already night again.

What happened to me?

I can't remember anything… but I have to try…

…there were Dementors, many Dementors but that is nothing special… but when they approached me… what happened?

There was this pain, this sting in my heart, I fainted…

…I saw something…

I saw something from my past… I saw the day I made the worst mistake of my life!!

Lily was probably right maybe I wanted to shrink responsibility?

Maybe I was too cowardly to shoulder the responsibility for three lives?

I just wanted to protect them!

I thought my plan was perfect but I missed something very important!

I knew that Peter was a damned rat that liked to make powerful friends and have them protect him.

I knew that Peter was a coward that preferred to hole up instead of fight. Which would have been perfect for us after all he was supposed to hide out.

And that is exactly where the error lies that I missed!!

That maybe I didn't want to see!?

Peter chooses his friends with caution exactly because he was such a coward.

I didn't think about that.

Had I thought about that I would have probably realized that Peter was the perfect victim for Voldemort!

This rat thought his life was more important than James' or anyone else!

Voldemort just had to fetch him!

Peter would have done anything for him just to make sure he wasn't killed.

I am sure that when forced to make a choice Peter didn't hesitate for even a second to join the Dark Lords ranks!

Why I wonder do I realize that only now?

Why did I mistrust Remus like that?

How did I get the crazy idea that he could be the spy if he was constantly underway?

The mole would have needed to stay close to us to spy out our secrets after all, or not?

DAMN IT WHY WAS I SO BLIND???

I realized that it is getting light around me and slightly open my eyes.

I see the first delicate rays of sunlight though my window.

The sun rises, a new day in this hell dawns.

With a bunch of new questions that will keep me busy for a long time.

That way I at least have something to do until Minister Fudge comes to visit me again.

I will naturally see to it that he leaves this cell in puzzlement and fear, as always!

A devilish smirk plays about my lips at the thought of Fudge's stupid face when he realizes once again that I am fine… at least mentally!

And even more satisfying thought than Fudges mien reaches me…

… at least that lousy rat is dead!!!

….

* * *

That's it next part Sirius gets a nice visit for his favourite Minister of Magic and the two of them will have a nice chat… you'll see ^_~

Please review!!

~Raion


	5. Visitor of a prisoner

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**Narrative form:** Everything that's not direct speech are Sirius thoughts

Thanks for your Review **ell25** I'm curious what you'll think about this one ^^

**5. ****Visitor of a prisoner**

The last two months were nothing special…

…how should they? In here there is neither something to do nor any change whatsoever…

…I'm locked up in my cell the whole day…

…it is probably twice the size of the broom closet at Grimmauld Place 12…

… here I can only mooch about and stare at my favourite spot on the wall… right there over the right upper corner of my window…

…if I wasn't in Azkaban…

…I would probably go for an ice cream with Harry right now or tell him stories about James with Remus…

I suddenly feel restless, I can no longer sit still…

Abruptly I stand up from my plank bed and start to pace along the walls…

… one step, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, turn

one, two, three, four turn…

"I want to get out of this damp and sinister hellhole! I want to feel the wind brush over my face again and dance in the rain like a child. I want to bask in the sun and run with Moony on full moon nights. I want to see Harry and Remus again and… I want to laugh again" I whisper as I walk my laps.

I allow myself to drop back onto my bed…. "Ouch!" that damn thing still didn't get any softer.

I rub my aching back and watch two Dementors glide past my cell. My Watcher-Dementor turns to look after the passing two… that is if Dementors can see somehow…

The icy cold leaves me as soon as they have passed… the presence of my Watcher nearly no longer affects me, I am too used to his presence.

The time has come… today is the day… I can feel it!

Minister Fudge is going to pay us a visit I'm sure of it!

I hate Fudge's guts… his and Bartemius Crouch's they just threw me in this nick without trial and forgot about me!

I just know what Fudge thought back then…

_~Who cares if Sirius Black betrayed the Potters or not?_

_The Potters were well-known and well-liked and the circumstances about He-who-must-not-be-named´s disappearance only put them further in the spotlight. So I need a scapegoat someone who was close to the Potters and could be the traitor._

_I after all can not have the nation thinking that I am incompetent and don't care that our saviour lost his parents!!_

_So what, __Sirius Black descends from a family of dark wizards no one is going to miss him… ~_

…but I'm looking forward to the much needed diversion the chat with him will provide me!

He certainly won't want to stay with me for long…

…he is scared of me…

I can see it, it is practically written all over his face.

My dry lips curl into a venomous smile.

He is such a dimwit! Doesn't he know that one never shows an alleged enemy, as which he doubtlessly views me, such emotions?

… if he doesn't know that he really is beyond help…

Doing this he gives me power over him without realizing it. A sardonic grin adorns my gaunt face.

Things or people we are scared of always have a certain power over us, he should know that!

I give him the creeps because he doesn't understand how I managed to keep my mind all those years.

…well what shall I say… I am innocent… even if it doesn't fell like it… or look like it, it's true!

That's not exactly the most positive thought I ever had… which is why the Dementors can't take it away form me.

Solely that thought allows me to keep my mind!

Suddenly I hear steps… and my Watcher leaves his post…

…Fudge has arrived!

It can't be much longer now until he shows up at my cell… after all there are not really many people he could talk with…

…ah yes there it is again the well-known creak and the ear-piercing squeak of a hastily slammed cell door…

…the steps are coming closer and I can already hear Fudge's voice…

He is fretting about something again and dictates his impressions to the auror with the dubious honour to accompany him here…

They approach my cell and I can hear Fudge warning the auror to give me a wide breath.

"But Minister, don't you think that's a bit exaggerated? Black has been here for twelve years! How should he pose any danger to me like that?" challenges the auror … probably a rookie… the Minister's power of judgement.

"Trust me McAllen, you shouldn't underestimate Sirius Black. When I was here last time he told me jokes!?" Fudge's voice makes it clear that he is in no mood for jokes today.

…I think he still isn't over the joke I made about his absolutely ridiculous clothes…

I send him a smug grin as he unlocks the door and enters my cell. The auror erects a small folding table and a chair for our dear Minister and takes position next to Fudge as he serenely takes seat in his cosy well-cushioned chair.

…he slowly gets comfy and places his issue of the Daily Prophet on the table…

…he seems to be well aware that I observe every little movement of his for he starts to fidget in his chair nervously as his gaze wanders roundabout my cell… his disgust for my living conditions is obvious…

…finally he looks directly into my eyes and cringes slightly…

My grin broadens, "welcome to my still dirty cell Minister. Tell me… could it be that once again my dearest cousin did not receive you too cordially?"

Out of the corner of my eyes I watch auror McAllen and can hardly suppress the mirth that spreads within me as his eyes widen in shock and he abruptly pales drastically from showing.

"Good day Mister Black. No your cousin Bellatrix was not too pleased…" he once again speaks in this formal tone as though he wants to lull me to sleep.

"But Minister, please, you've known me for such a long time… you should really, finally start to call me Sirius!" I say with a mischievous grin.

…I love this facial expression when he is stuck dumb with horror; it fits his character so well…

"What did Bella throw at you this time? Don't tell me it was her food bowl or water cup again!? Tell me, were you able to get the stains out of your definitely not cheep clothes completely?" my feigned worry makes Fudge blush.

"Mister Black you really do not have to worry about my clothes. The guards took away Mrs Lestrange's food and water bowls as a precaution."

Ah gotcha! You are embarrassed that I let McAllen know about this, aren't you!?

"Oh really? That was a very wise decision but if so, why did you leave Bella's cell in such a rush?" I carefully conceal my glee with my candid curiosity.

…I look form Minister Fudge, who definitely won't give me an answer, to the auror.

He winces slightly, I am sure he will have nightmares of this tonight so I give him a smile of sympathy… this obviously surprises him…

…he clears his throat… „she threw her cushion and blanket at us" he nervously admits.

I laugh softly and then say "you shouldn't hold that against her, she didn't mean you personally but rather Minister Fudge here" I nod in his direction "she is pissed at him for putting her in this shithole.

She deserves it, no doubt about that but that doesn't mean that she has to like being here.

I am sure you can understand that this is the last place one wants to be."

McAllen nods slowly but before he can respond Fudge speaks up "oh stop it Mister Black. You know exactly why we are here so lets cut it short."

I dabble for an innocent look and say "my apologies Minister, I am sure you are a busy man but you know it is pretty boring and monotonous here… the Dementors are not exactly chatty if you know what I mean so I can't pass up on such a wonderful opportunity for Small Talk!

Besides, what are you expecting of me?

You already know that I am still quite clear in the head.

That I am not in best health in this nick, thanks to malnutrition and the missing sanitary installations should be obvious even to you!

So what do you want from me?

You surely are not here because you missed me so much, are you?" at the last part I wink at him suggestively whereupon McAllen is barely able to suppress his laughter…

…Fudge's facial expression is divine… it is a mix of surprise, fear and oh well disgust I would say…

He leaps up as I rise from my plank bed and slowly approach him… he practically bolts.

Doing so he forgets his newspaper which I immediately snatch, they don't realize it outright…

…they are too busy getting out and locking the cell door behind them as fast as possible banishing table and chair as they go.

I nonchalantly lean against the wall next to the door and grip one of the bars with my right hand making Fudge shrink back even further.

I gift him with a wicked grin "You're leaving already, Minister? But we haven't yet talked about the actual political situation or in other words how much longer you will be Minister of Magic." The pain promising smile and dark look I send him make him pale. Swiftly he hides his trembling hands behind his back, something that against all his hopes I don't miss.

I turn so that I now stand completely in front of the door and look Fudge square in the eyes, "you certainly don't mind me borrowing you newspaper, do you? I'm sure you already read it and I love doing the crosswords in the middle."

He thinks about it for a moment and then says "keep the paper Black I can't waste anymore of my time on you!" before speeding away.

"I wish you a good day, Minister… I hope you will honour me with your presence again soon! Or maybe I could come and visit you for a change?" I call after him.

It doesn't escape my notice that my last comment made him flinch and walk faster "Lets get out of here!" he murmurs.

With a self-satisfied grin I sink back onto my plank bed and simply enjoy the moment.

* * *

I am sure you can understand now why Fudge doesn't particularly enjoy his check-up meetings with Sirius *gg*

Next time Sirius is going to check out the Daily Prophet, lets see what's going to happen ^_~

Review please *puppy dog eyes*


	6. Insights of a prisoner

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**Narrative form:** Sirius thoughts

_"blabla"_ - things Sirius reads

**ell25 :** Yes well Fudge is a coward and Sirius is a born prankster, I believe that he would do everything in his might to draw as much fun out of his one and only visitor as possible ^^ I am happy that you liked it ; )

Now no more talk, enjoy the new chapter guys!

**6.****Insights of a prisoner**

I don't know how long I just lay there like that and enjoyed the fresh memories of my talk with Fudge and McAllen… I nearly missed the return of my watcher if it hadn't sent an icy chill down my spine…

…surprisingly these memories managed to spare me of a night filled with nightmares…

…my mind was too full with the pictures of my visitors…

…it's nearly sunrise and every moment the Dementors will show up in my cell to bring me my breakfast… well it's more of a daily ration really…

…on a good day we get a big cup of water and a small bowl of Porridge with a slab of hard bread… on every other day our bill of fare is way more moderate… then we only get water and bread…

Cup and bowl vanish on their own once emptied.

..there naturally is no silverware… it might not be any help with the Dementors… but the chance that the prisoners could use it to off themselves is just too big.

Who or how it is decided which day is a good day and which not I still haven't found out, not after all these years I spent here… there doesn't seem to be a system to help decide when the Azkaban inmates receive such a feast…

…sometimes I think the aurors simply draw globes with numbers from a bowl… the day of the drawn number is the day of the extended meal… that's why we sometimes only get water and bread for weeks only to suddenly get menu 2 for two or three days in a row…

…icy coldness fills the room… it is so cold that I can see my breath ascend in small smoke globes…

Trembling all over I cower in the rearmost corner of my plank bed and wrap my tatty bed sheet around me to ward of the coldness at least a bit…

…a senseless endeavour…

…the coldness of the Dementors can not be warded off with something as simple as a blanket… two Dementors enter my cell accompanied by ear shattering noise to put my food inside my cell…

…I hold my breath and try my best not to make any noise…

..not to move even a single millimetre…

…I don't want to draw the attention of my watcher… it is bad enough to have the two food deliverers in my cell… but I can live with two of them, these two should leave any moment as it is… so if my watcher stays outside this might be a halfway painless morning…

…my pulse quickens and despite the frostiness I can feel the sweat forming on my forehead… my watcher Dementor joins the two food deliverers… a fearful whimper escapes my compressed lips…

…that's what they've been waiting for…

…two of the Dementors turn towards me and take a deep breath… the noise of their rattling breath seems to vibrate within my body as they suck out my happiness over yesterdays visitors…

…my body stiffens…

…convulses…

…I throw back my head hitting the wall hard… a burning pulsating pain runs through my body…

…suddenly everything goes black… for a moment I lose consciousness…

…as I regain awareness I am alone in my cell… my watcher once again stands in front of my cell door as though nothing ever happened…

…and why should it be any different? After all I receive such a lovely "Good Morning" every other day from the Guards of Azkaban…

Slowly I try to relax my clenched muscles and go get my food. Even the smallest movement sends a wave of pain through my weakened body… I seem to have hit my head harder than I thought…

…I knew that today was a bad day so it shouldn't have disappointed my to only find water and two slabs of bread waiting for me in the corner beside the cell door…

…with my daily ration in had I retreat to my plank bed… I put the bread and water down next to the pallet and cautiously lay down… I carefully feel the back of my head… ouch… I twitch slightly as my fingers brush over a small laceration… this pain did help me earlier to cope with the effect of the Dementors but I seem to have overdone it a bit with this hit …

…I nibble on one for the bread slabs and fish for the Daily Prophet which is lying underneath the plank bed…

…now lets see what our dear Minister was just about to read… I smile gleefully… ah the horoscope page… I wouldn't have pegged Fudge to believe in such nonsense but whatever… lets see what they've got to say about me…

…Leo, hmm… ah there it is, so… _This is not your week. Your housemates give you a major headache and unexpected news will throw you off your track. You start to feel caged in your home, it is really time for a change of scenery!_

My bitter laughter fills the cell… difficult housemates? … yes well one definitely is cursed with Dementors as housemates… but it is not as though I can throw them out… or even better move out myself…

…unexpected news? … in this nick every news is unexpected… it is not as though the prisoners are kept up to date about what it happening in the world out there…

…a change of scenery? … yes I would really like that… but I doubt that Minister Fudge suddenly recovers his heart for tormented criminals and gives me a pardon… hmm actually I think I would have to receive an actual sentence for that first…

…what's all the blinking about… _You have the brains of a Troll_… I let out a guffaw that fills my cell and the lifeless halls… Fudge did the crossword and seems to have guessed wrong a few times too many… well, well the joys of a self-correcting crossword puzzle are treacherous…

…buy a self-correcting crossword puzzle and you get praise or reproof for free. A honest assessment of your knowledge, equipped with anti-cheating spells!

Lets see what he got wrong there… _What is the name of the Charm to ward off Dementors?_ Now that should be easy enough… Fudge's answer is _Incendio_… disbelievingly snorting I shake my head creating a piercing pain that fills my head… Fudge comes to Azkaban quarterly for his inspections and he still doesn't know that the charm that could save his soul from the Dementors is the _Patronus_ charm? …

…they should send him here with more than one auror, that would increase his chances of survival phenomenally…

…even though admittedly a fire charm might help as well… though the Dementors have an uncanny gift to suck out all the warmth of any living creature… they might be able to puff out the flames before they even reach them…

…never mind, let's see how the Quidditch league is doing…

…as I unfold the news paper to flip to the Quidditch part the paper falls open on the society part… my gaze is immediately drawn to the photo… I know these people… they are… they are Molly and Arthur Weasley…

Hurriedly I read the article that goes with the picture… it seems that they won the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize and used it to visit their eldest son Bill in Egypt… my oh my seven children these two have been quite busy…

…smiling I look up from the article to the photo… what I see there freezes the smile on my lips… shocked I suck in a deep breath, my body is frozen in terror… a cold shiver runs down my spine…

…no, this can't be…

…starring at the photo my hands start to tremble and my pulse speeds up…

…that can't possibly be true!

There right in the middle of the photo stands a boy about Harry's age… he wears a Chudley Cannons shirt and a cheeky grin… and on his should sits a rat…

…swallowing hard I put the paper down on the plank bed and rub my eyes… that can't be true… it simply is an optical illusion that's all…

…I open my eyes and look closer at the rat… I know this coat colour… for years I've teased him about how dirty his coat looks even when he was clean… that should have made me wonder… that rotten dirty little rat… but that can't be… it can't be him… I thought that bastard was dead!

How could that happen… the explosion… I bend over to be able to study the rat as close as possible… it is missing a toe on its right forepaw… there is no doubt…

…I jump off the pallet, ignoring the headache I start to pace up and down my cell…

…that blasted treacherous rat faked its death and I fell for it…

…as unbelievable as it is…

…Peter Pettigrew is still alive…

* * *

Oh yes Peter is definitely very much alive. One more chapter to go, tell me what you think okay?

See you soon guys ^^

~Raion


	7. Flight of a prisoner

**Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban**

Welcome to the last chapter of SBMoA translating this story went way faster than writing it in *lol* I mean I started this in 2003! Okay I had a four and a half year break from it but wow. I know that doesn't excuse the long wait for the last chapter though *blushes*

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ^_~

**Disclaimer:** Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

**Narrative form:** Sirius thoughts

**Ell25:** I am glad you liked it, that means a lot to me *gg* Yeah there were a lot "…" and there are going to be a lot more in this one. I am using them as a means to show how the Dementors affect Sirius. They slow down his thoughts and at times make him forget what he was thinking or distract him. The dots are supposed to show that there is more time between his thought than what is normal, if that makes any sense to you XD I am not sure how to explain it, sorry ^^;;

Enjoy the last chapter *hugs readers*

~Raion

**7. ****Flight of a prisoner**

…Peter Pettigrew is still alive… I can't believe it but the evidence for it is starring at me from the photo of the Daily Prophet…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…how could Peter survive the explosion?

In a fast pace I walk up and down my cell as I've been doing for days since I've found that damned photo in the paper…

..he is at Hogwarts…

…I've barely slept and when I broke down from exhaustion I was tortured by my usual nightmares… though now they've gotten worse because now I can't take solace in the knowledge that the culprit for James and Lily's deaths is dead…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…I have no idea how this could have happened… I remember it as though it was just yesterday…

_**Flashback**_

_After I handed Harry to Hagrid with a heavy heart and also gave them my beloved motorcycle there was only one thing left for me to do._

_I had to find Peter and avenge James and Lily, for Harry, for myself and naturally for my dead brother._

_It took a bit of time but finally I found him in a Muggle-street not far from his flat. It beats me what gave him the idea that I wouldn't look for him there. He probably thought I wouldn't believe him to be stupid enough to return there but I know Peter better than that…_

_The feeling of satisfaction I experience as I see him standing right there in front of me is priceless. Peter hasn't spotted me yet but I am going to change that momentarily._

"_Hello Peter" I drawl. I am pleased to note how Peter startles with shock before he slowly turns to face me._

"_Ssirius… wwwhat are you doing here, my friend?" he stutters nervously his eyes wander from left to right searching for an escape._

"_Why so nervous, Peter? Is there something you wish to tell me, my friend?" to still call him that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth but I decided to find out what he thought he was doing selling Prongs and his family out like that before I finish him off._

"_I..I..I __nno Sirius. __I..i have nnno idea what you are speaking about." Guiltily he shrinks from my look._

_With slow predator like steps I walk up to Peter. "Playing dumb won't help you anymore, Peter" I hiss at him, "I've just been at Prong's for a midnight visit. Do you want to know what I found there?" Peter softly shakes his head but I'm not really interested in his answer. "James and Lily are dead and their house is aflame! Do you mind explaining to me how that could have happened, Peter?"_

_Hearing this from me makes him pale drastically and stare at me wide-eyed "Ssirius… I…" he whines. _

_I stare at the damned traitor completely stunned as he starts to cry. If he believes that his fake tears impress me then he has another thing coming! "Save your fake tears for someone who cares you friggin' traitor!" I growl at him taking another step closer. _

_Suddenly Peter starts shouting "Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?" he goes for his wand. That idiot, he never had a chance against James or me at duelling. _

_I draw my wand but before I can utter a spell I am flung back by a vicious explosion. _

_My ears ring with the echo of the explosion mixed with the panicked screams and the shrill sounds of the assembled crying Muggles. My eyes are burning due to the dust of the explosion. Slowly I look around to assess the magnitude of the explosion. There is a huge crate in the street. The dust cloud makes it difficult for me to see clearly but I observe how panicked Muggles run to their injured. There are so many bodies… so many dead… I can barely grasp that Peter must have blown himself up but the only thing left of him seems to be his bloody robes._

_As I stare at Peters remains a hysterical laughter escapes my throat. I can't believe it! _

_That cowardly bastard sells James and Lily to Voldemort to gain his "protection" and when reality hits him and he realizes that Remus and I would kill him for his betrayal he preventively kills himself to escape our vengeance. That's just insane._

_I jump slightly as someone grabs my arm but it is only an auror. Still laughing I allow him to walk me off. Now that James and Lily are avenged I will go to Dumbledore and find out where Harry is to take him home with me. _

_**End Flashback**_

I wanted to take Harry in and bring him up as though he was my own son, just like James would have wanted… but instead of taking me to the Ministry for questioning they immediately threw me into a cell in Azkaban.

…he is at Hogwarts…

…for days I've been trying to figure out how Peter survived the explosion… but there is only one explanation for it… he cut of one of his fingers before he transformed into the lousy rat he is and ran off to join his fellows in the sewer…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…and then he planted himself at the Weasley's… he knew after all that Arthur and Molly were part of the Order and that way he could make sure to immediately find out if Voldemort's followers should troop up again… at the same time he was able to inconspicuously spy on the Order…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…it must have seemed like fate to him when Arthur's youngest son made friends with Harry… should Voldemort return he would have the perfect position to hand him the last Potter on a sliver plate…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…I have to get out of here… I have to protect Harry… he is at Hogwarts with Harry… I have to get out of here… that damn rat needs to be given his just punishment…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…how do I get out of here… instinctively I transform into Padfoot… I turn around with a jerk as my cell door is opened with a boisterous squeaking noise… I haven't eaten for days… one of the stationed aurors must have realized that… it smells like Porridge… my mouth is watering… the dynamic duo doesn't take notice of me at all as they set down the bowl, one cell down Bella has one of her famous fits of rage…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…silently I sneak up to the door… the food smells so temptingly good… my stomach gives a low growl… but I don't have time to eat… before my watcher closes the cell door I slip out into the hall nimble-footedly and run as fast as I can along the hall in the direction of the detention awaiting trial block… at least I _believe_ that that is the direction I'm running…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…when I'm out of here I should send Bella a thank you note for distracting the Dementors for me… it naturally also helps that the Dementors have problems with sensing the emotions of animals… when they finally realize that it is me that is running at them I am already past… damn… I brake hard in the last second… I don't remember that grille… how do I get past it…

...he is at Hogwarts…

…the distance between the bars is broader than it was with my cell door… I don't have time for this… my breath morphs into clouds of steam, a sure sign that the Dementors are catching up to me… I have no idea if that is going to work but I have to try, I have no other choice anyway… there is no turning back now… I take a deep breath before I try to worm my way through the bars… never before have I been so grateful for the scrubby menu here… the fasting sure helped as well…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…it smells like coffee which means that the auror office has to be somewhere close by…they've surely got a window… I run as fast as I can in the direction the scent is coming from… a hoarse wail escapes my throat as I take the turn too fast and slam into the hard stonewall with my hind legs…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…there is a light directly ahead of me… the auror office doesn't have doors so that the aurors can be on the scene faster if worst comes to worst… I sprint into the office spot an open window and without even a moment's hesitation run straight at it and jump out into the unknown…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…I fly through the inky black night… with a loud "splash" I crash against the water… I always thought water was kind of soft but it felt like a wall of bricks right there… the force of the impact presses me deep underwater and the icy coldness of it paralyses me for a moment. But the many years of constant Dementor presence have hardened me against cold temperatures so I start to swim as fast as I can to get myself ashore…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…the pitch black night is only punctured by a weak ray of light… what could that be… are that the aurors who are probably already searching for me? I didn't have time to look for them in the office when I passed through… as I swim closer to where I suspect to be dry land the ray of light gets stronger and one of my memories stirs…

_**Flashback**_

"_Hey Lily what are you drawing there?" I ask her curiously as I flop down on the sofa next to her._

"_That? That's a lighthouse, Sirius. Muggles use them to prevent their ships from running aground on sandbanks or reefs. They also serve as navigational aid at sea… but I am actually no friend of shipping." She explains to me bashfully._

"_Then why do you draw a lighthouse Lils?" I ask in confusion._

_Lily blushes slightly "you know Sirius lighthouses are a symbol for hope. They illuminate even the darkest night with their light and lead the seamen home to their families safely…" she confesses embarrassedly._

_Well that naturally explains everything. "You don't need to worry Lily, James will certainly return from his mission soon… what do you say, you and I put a burning candle in the window for it to light the way back home for James" I offer self-consciously._

_She hugs me with a beaming smile "Thank you Sirius that is a fantastic idea."_

_**End Flashback**_

…a lighthouse, my guide to freedom. Exhausted I reach the mainland and shake off as much water as possible. I would just love to curl up somewhere and sleep for a week but I don't have time for that…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…I remind myself again and again. He is at Hogwarts. Peter Pettigrew is at Hogwarts. Very close to Harry. I can not allow him to hurt Harry…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…this has become my mantra; I keep whispering it aloud and in my mind again and again to keep that in mind gives me strength…

…he is at Hogwarts…

…and I am free and on my way…

You should enjoy your last days of peace and quiet Peter…

…because now the rat hunt is on…

* * *

Well that's it guys and gals, let me know what you think ^_~


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